lifethrupoems

I used to think home was place

Life could never touch, a safe

Haven built by the hands

That hold me, with walls that could withstand

Anything

Yet the very thing

That destroyed my home

The reason I cannot roam

Beyond my invisible barrier

Is because the people are carriers

We used to share the bubble

But now I struggle

To stay in my lane

Because hugs were what kept me sane

And now I can’t touch anymore

Sorry for the emotion, it’s kind of a sore

Subject, you see

They think I’m only worried about me

But our closeness kept me from breaking

Apart, without it I’m making

Every mistake, so I don’t go

In the house now, see I know

Better than to engage

Avoidance is my best strategy anyway

So I sit, crying brokenly

On the patio, where I would never openly

Be vulnerable, feelings never shown

But now my room’s a danger zone

So this is my new refuge

And I’m sorry but I refuse

To stay locked in my room

And don’t you dare assume

I don’t care, but I’m falling

Apart here, I’m calling

But they all have to stay

Six feet away

I used to think home was a safe place

But now it’s not and on my face

There’s a mask permanently fixed in place

And the only time it comes off is in my car

The only time you can see all my scars

To live is to be known

So I guess I’m dead

Bring the lilies, all white

Compliment the people in black

Let’s have a party

Throw your heads back

Scream into an empty night

I hope it’s a full moon

When I go up in flames

I’ll join the stars

Alive only in name

Then I’ll disintegrate

And be forgotten

I wasn’t known anyway

Can’t take too long

Memories fade in days

Laughing in parks

Singing in cars

Dancing in dark corners

That’s what you remember

So my pain will die

Quietly forgotten

The voice in my head

Dies alone, unknown

Because I never told

Anybody, there’s just

Too much of me for

Anyone to hold

I’m buried by

The weight of pain

I shouldered alone

Atlas hides behind the

Smile you remember

So say your goodbyes

Lay flower on wood

Turn away and remember

Whoever you want

Infinite doppelgangers

Run free in nostalgia

But none of them are close

Because to live is to be known

And I was born to die